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Chat Up Lines!

By: Sarah Nelson On: 9:29 AM
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  • A friend of mine was just messaging me about a footballer she met on Tuesday night at a fashion week after party and the lines he used on her. He walked across the club to her and said.. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She looked at him, laughed and replied, "No, but it might hurt when I kick your balls!"

    I am in stiches! He is a known footballer, earns more money a week than most of us do in a year (or two), can get any slore he wants for a quick romp, yet he is still using chat up lines! Quality.

    So here I am thinking about the kind of chat up lines I have heard in the past. You know, when you are at a club/bar with your girls and a guy comes over and says, "Sorry I can't talk to you any more, the doctor told me I'm diabetic and I cant handle sweet things like you."
    Personally, to me, even if it was the sweetest comment ever, I think I would still laugh. Why do guys feel the need to use chat up lines? Why can't you just be yourself?

    If you want to talk to a girl in a club, go over to her and say "Hey, I noticed you and think you are really pretty and would like to get to know you." Simple. Honest. Truthful. No bullshit! That is what I would like. Unfortunately, the kind of chat up lines I get are, "If you were a burger you'd be McGorgeous." Or "I was just curious, Are you as good in bed as that guy says you are?" Delightful.

    So I have come up with some comebacks for the chat up lines that I have heard.. Ladies, if you get any of these, please use the comebacks and let me know what happens!

    Q. "Do you come here often?"
    A. Not any more

    Q. "Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day."
    A. Im knackered, so you start doing the running and run along.

    Q. "What's your sign?"
    A. (Stick your middle finger up)

    Q. "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in those eyes."
    A. If my eyes are telling you to get lost, you should take the hint.

    Q. "I'd love to see how you look when I'm naked."
    A. Well, if your penis as is small as your hands and feet, you'll see the back of me walking out the door.

    I am giggling so much from writing these. Would love to see if any of the guys reading have any chat up lines and if yes what are they and have they worked? Girls, what is the funniest or cheesiest or worst chat up line you have ever heard?

    Please leave comments below or email me: blogdoll21@gmail.com or tweet me @LittleMissVak and please "like" my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Miss-V/251741761508428

    Little Miss V..xx